2007年8月11日星期六

Is there another choice?


“Why you did that?” I asked, “Don’t you know that’s equal to declare of war?”
Bruce, the man who standing in front of me, said calmly, “Yes. I know what I’m doing.”
“Why? A lot of people will be killed. Why you have to do that?” I fell on the bed that I was rested on a moment ago, before I heard what Bruce had done. Feeling so weak suddenly.
“You ask me why? Don’t you know what your precious Louie had done? He is the one who starts this! He killed Anita!”
“She was killed by the ruffians, I’m really sorry about her death. But that’s not Louie”
“He fomented peoples’ offense towards the government at Area 31. He incited the strike. The ruffians who killed Anita are his fellows!”
“…I didn’t know that…”
“I knew you didn’t know that. And I knew you didn’t know all those things he did are because of you.” He stated.
“What…me?” I couldn’t believe it.
“You leave him after The Revolution,” Burse said, inching towards me, “and that god damned bastard thought the only way to get you back is to start another revolution. Another war. He think that war bond you & him together!”
“It wouldn’t be that…” I shook my head, feeling even weaker than before, “he knows why I leave, I think he understood…”
“But he is not.” Burse put his hands on my face, forced me to look at him, then said “He killed my Anita, I will not let him having you by his side. I will let him know what a man feel when he lost his beloved one.”
“Clam down, Bruce.” Joel said, walking out from the shadow beside the entrance of this tiny room with a small cylindrical thing in hand.
That is a pressure syringe!
I was frozen when he approaching me. I didn’t know it was because of fear or what else, I just couldn’t move, couldn’t say anything, watching him became closer & closer.
He pressed the syringe on my neck & said, “Good night. My dearest Diaz.”




Where am I? I had no memory of this dim place.
“Where…” My throat was too dry to say another word. Feeling limp & thirsty. What happened to me?
“You are in the basement of our HQ.” Joel said, helping me to sit upright. Then he studied my eyes intensively with a small flashlight, “Good. You look better now.”
“…what…” I tried to speak again.
Joel walked away then returned with a glass of water, offering it to me, “You can’t remember what had happened?”
I nodded to him while drank in the water eagerly.
He sat on a bedside chair, smile on his face, “You had a serious concussion after the explosion outside the City Hall.”
“Explosion?” After having a whole glass of water my throat allowed me to speak again.
“Bruce set that up. Because Louie had arranged a press conference to give his announcement about, what he said, ‘Flight for the real freedom’, we don’t want the conference & more important than that is, we don’t want you be there.”
“Why?”
“You should know that.” A big smile.
I searched through my memory; tried to find out what the reason was.

“Bruce will not let me be with Louie, this is his revenge of Anita’s death.” I said a couple minutes later.
Joel nodded, and gave me a smile of satisfaction.

“I thought you will kill me.” I said, as I put my left hand on my neck, remembering he had injected me something.
“No. I’m not trying to kill anyone. Not you. Not Bruce, not Louie.” He shrugged and said, “I don’t wanna kill anymore.”
“Then what you had injected me?”
“Just sedative. You need rest.”

For another ten or twenty minute, I’d not sure exactly how long had past, we just sat there in silence.
I didn’t know what I had to say, I was kind of fuzzy still.
I’d tried to make myself look “good & in shape”, but I’d sure that Joel knew my situation better than I did as he stood up then said, “You need to take more rest, don’t push yourself too hard to think about the situation now.
When he turned to leave after helping me to lie on the bed, I grabbed at his sleeve, “You’ll not kill me then what will you do to me? Lock me up till I die?”
“Maybe. But it’s up to yours & Bruce’s decision.” He said in a weak tone, just like a helpless child. I didn’t know why.
“Mine?”
Joel placed my hand under the blanket, said gently much like a whisper “Don’t think about that right now. Sleep well.”




I think it’s been another day after my talk with Joel. When I woke up, this room was as dim as it was last time.
… ah yea, I’m in a basement.
I feel much better than a day before so I tried to get down from the bed. But to found out that I was chained to the footboard at my ankle. “So, this is Bruce’s decision.” I said to myself.

“It is now sure that, I have no freedom here, even to leave this room. Then what can I do? I don’t want to just sit here & wait for the change or anything else. I must do something.

“First of all, make myself clear about the situation.” I talked to myself, again.


When I was working on all the info I had in my brain, there was a knock on the door. Then a very young lady entered the room with a tray of food.
“Ma’am, here is your breakfast.” She placed the tray carefully on my lap and said, “I’ll be back to collect the dishes in 30 minutes.”
“Excuse me.” Before she turns away, I said, “May I have a watch? Or an alarm clock? I really wanted to know the time.”
She stared at me, distaste shows on her face. But I returned her a smile then said, “And I eat very slowly if I don’t know the time. So, please?”
She gave me a hard glare before stormed out.

Just a few minutes later, I thought, Joel came in.
“How you feel today?” he said and placed a small alarm clock on the tiny table beside my bed.
“I’d guest she will not give me a clock. It seems I had misestimated her.”
Joel sat on the bedside chair then said, “Who she?”
“The girl who brought me breakfast.” I said after finishing the last bite of ham.
“Grace? She didn’t tell me that.” Joel looks surprised by my words.
“Her name Grace? It is a good name.” I said, leaning to my pillow, “Joel, did you think she is too young to joint the force? How old is she? 11? 12?”
Joel put the dishes away, “Yes. I do. But Bruce allows her to stay.”
“Because she looks like Anita?”
“Grace is Anita’s sister.”
“Aha.” I nodded to myself, “then I knew why she hates me now.”
Joel gave me a question look.
I smiled then said, “I wanna have a talk with Bruce. Would you arrange it for me?”
“Certainly, I can.” Joel said, “But, about what?”
I stripped away the blanket to let him see the chain on my ankle, “Its Bruce’s choice. But I had my own.”




It had been 2 days after I had requested Joel to arrange the negotiation, Bruce came, alone.
I didn’t know what had happened within these few days but as he came, I needed to talk to him.

Bruce leaned to the wall that opposite to where I am, next to the door, crossing his hands on his chest, staring at me silently.
Seconds after, he “pointed” to the door with his chin, “Joel’s outside. Do you need him to join?”
I shrugged then said “As your wish.”

Another 5 or 6 seconds later, Bruce said, “What you want to say?”
“You don’t have a seat?” He didn’t move a bit, so I shrugged again & made myself sat in a more comfortable way on the bed.
I made myself ease at my tone, “I want to have a trade with you.”
“Trade?”
“Yes.”
A flash of scorn shown on Bruce’s face. He said “What you can trade with me? You’re just a captive.”
“Yes. I’m a captive.” I said as confidence & self-esteem as I could, like what I did in The Revolution, “But don’t you forget who I am?” I then gave him a big smile.
Time flows away silently, complex emotions shown on his face.

Twenty seconds later, Bruce said, with a serious face, “What’d you want?”
“I want peace.” I said plainly.
“Did you know what is happening outside this building now?” The pitch of his tone raising.
“I don’t know.” I said, keeping myself clam, not falling into argue with Bruce, “But I know what I want & what you want.”
“You think you do? Hn?”
“I said ‘I want peace.’ & for yours, it’s as plain as everyone can see, you wanted to kick Louie’s ass. Your revenge.”
Bruce said nothing. I took it as a signal to me to continuous my speech. “Our goals are difference but, actually, your goal is my means.
“I need to eliminate all the obstacles on my way to peace. And for this time, that is Louie.”
A smirk spread on my face as I finished the sentence.
“Did you know what you’re saying? THAT IS YOUR MAN!” Bruce yelled at me just like a man who did not know me and thought that a woman cannot be so cruel that planed to fight her beloved one down. But that’s me, Diaz Rockefeller, who will do anything for her goal.
“Not any more. Since he started this chaos.” I let out a giggle and said, “I understood that you will not trust me as Louie is our enemy. But would you listen to my plan first?”

Once again, Bruce stared at me silently just like he wanted to see through my skull & read my plan from my brain directly.

“Spill it.”
I let a grin grown out of the corner of my lips, predicting the respond Bruce would be given when he heard what I’d going to say. It would be funny, I guessed.
“First, you have to announce me as your deputy”
At the very moment that I had finished the word ‘deputy’, Bruce jumped, face reddened with rage & yelled “What?”
I sighed exaggeratedly then said “Bruce, would you please claim down & let me finish first?”
I stared at him until he was claim down finally. “You said Louie started all this stupid thing was because I left him. And he thought this was the only way to brought me back.
“But what will he think if I didn’t go to him but to the opposite force instead?”

I frowned as Bruce seemed did not understood what I had just said. I started to wonder why there were people who volunteered to join the force with a leader like this…did not tell me it just because to the memory of Anita, or they thought Anita would not choose a stupid guy as her man?
I’d remember once Anita said, “We both fell in love with stupid man, Diaz. They are stupid but”
“They are crazily in love with us.” I said & we giggled.

I sighed heavily, then said “Bruce, you know him. When he found his prediction was wrong, he’ll become frustrated & will give up everything in hand.”
“Then he’ll lose.” Bruce stated with one end of his lips curved upward.
“So?” I asked raised an eyebrow.
Bruce came near and stretched out his hand, “Deal.”
I took the offered hand, shook & said, “Deal.”




I was in my new room the next day after the deal was made. As a deputy of the leader, this room was much bigger & luxurious than the one at the basement. I had a window in my room & I had my freedom to go every where of the HQ.

“Please come in.” I answered the knock on my door.
Joel came in dressed formally. He was readied for the press conference that would be held an hour later. He looked upset.
I knew I’m the one who made him sad but I greeted him cheerily, anyway, “Hi Joel! You look you’re ready.”
He locked the door & leaned to it just like he wanted to block me from an escape though I didn’t think I needed one.
“Why?” he asked.
“Why what?” I returned, keeping my voice plain.
“You said you didn’t want to join any kind of forces anymore. Why you asked for this now?”
“Joel,” I said, “things are difference now. I told you that was what I wanted with the backup of peace. But now, you can see that 2 stupid guys had fought again. & you remember that, this was because of my leaving. I have to end this. This is my responsibility.”
“Your responsibility.” He sneered, “So what if I tell you that Bruce had lied to you?”
“I STILL have to end it.” I’d getting emotional, “I don’t want any people suffer anymore. That’s why Anita & I had tried to evoke The Revolution. We wanted peace, we wanted freedom. That 2 stupid didn’t understand!”
Joel approached me, “There is another ways for you, right?”
“Don’t make yourself look fool, Joel. You know that. Because you have no other choice too. That’s why you’re here.”
The shoulder of Joel’s dropped dramatically. He signed then said, “I just don’t want you to get involved.”
I went to Joel & gave him a hug lightly but heartily, then said, “Thank you very much. Joel. I know everything you did is for the good of me. But I’m not a person that can bear to ‘just-sit-there-&-wait-for-someone-else-to-do.’ Let me do it. I promise I’ll not do any harm to myself & will not put myself to risk. Ok?”
Joel held me really tight for a while then back up a bit, “Don’t promise for the thing that you can’t do. You’ll push yourself to the front line & in risk too fast that no one can stop you.” After gave me a warm smile, he continues, “But I’ll be there to protect you when you’re in danger & support you when you need it.”
I hug him tight again, burying my face into his chest, “I’m sorry Joel…”
I knew he loves me. I knew, but I could not return his feeling…
“Shu…” he wisped above my head, combing my hair with his fingers, said “Don’t say that. You had never done anything that you need to sorry for me.” He paused, then I heard a giggle before he spoke again, “But if you wanted to told me something about the bad joke that you did over my name, I’ll be love to know …um…after the conference. Now, you have to get changed & be ready for it.”
Joel pulled away, placed a light kiss on my forehead then turned towards the door, “See you later.”
“Thank you. Joel.” I said not even knew if he could heard it.




“First of all,” Bruce stood in front of the microphone to start the conference, “I had to welcome all of the press representatives to come.”
He paused for a second or two before he started his presentation, “Why are you sitting here now? Why are we holding this conference? & why are we, people of The White Horse, needed to come back together, to fight again?
“It is because Louie Napoleon, founder of The Red Rose, claim that they are now fighting for the real peace, real freedom. But what is the fact? The fact is they destroyed the peaceful life that we had just held in our hands.
“People of this country had just freed from the autocratic rule of Pills the VII and had a chance to live better lives, we cannot leave them to do that! We cannot let them to destroy the fruit of our arduous fight! We had to stop them!!
“Here, I would like to introduce a lady to you, who is the very knight that led us out from the dark past, the heroine of The Revolution! She came to show her support & her will to protect the wealth of all people of the country!
“Let’s show our welcome together. Welcome! Diaz Rockefeller!”

I walked forth, gave Bruce’s hand a shook then came in front of the mike.
Clapping hands & hurrahs rushed towards me.
I bowed to them slightly & let a smile of confidence shown on my face.






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Sep 08, 2004